R'aine
by Engage
Summary: What will happen when the SGC has to deal with the ultimate Mary Sue? Some very minor SJ because i couldn't help it :D
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: Unfortunately i don't own Stargate or it's Characters. But the plot is all mine!

**Warnings**: May contain fluff :)

**Summary**: How will the SGC deal with the ultimate Mary-Sue?

**A/N**: This is intended to be a parody! Don't take me too seriously folks. 

On with the show!

_-----  
_

_R'aine smiled as she took one final look at all of her new friends. The people here had asked her to stay after she had come and saved their world from a deadly plague, but they all knew that she had to leave. Each and every one of them would be missed dearly. "I am sorry, but I must away now. There are still a great many places that need to be explored, and many people that I have yet to help. Someday I may return here." She flashed one final exquisite smile and was gone._

"Open the iris!"

The great metal shield that had been protecting the US Air Force's best kept secret retracted and four familiar faces burst in. Each of them appeared to have sustained injuries over the course of their mission, but there was one member of SG-1 in particular who was in especially bad shape.

"We need a med team in here now!" Major Samantha Carter bellowed as she knelt by her unconscious CO's side. Commotion broke out all over the gateroom as the wormhole disengaged behind SG-1 and the order was given out to the medical team. Sam checked his pulse. It was very weak but he was alive, Sam was sure of that. She didn't know how much longer he could hold on. The four of them had had a little tangle with some Jaffa on P3X-645, and the Colonel had taken a staff blast to the chest. At least they had got him back home relatively in one piece. She made a mental note to thank Teal'c later for carrying the Colonel back through the gate.

Doctor Fraiser and her team of medical staff were in the gateroom and up the ramp within seconds. The small woman barked various commands to them, and the Colonel was up on a stretcher and being whisked away to the infirmary with almost startling efficiency. Sam, Daniel and Teal'c followed close behind them.

-----

"We contacted the Asgard and the Tok'ra to see if they could help us." Daniel announced as he walked into the infirmary. He didn't look happy at all. "The Tok'ra have their hands full at the moment, and the Asgard said that the soonest they could get here was two days."

Janet shook her head. "I don't know if I can keep him alive for that long. His internal organs were severely damaged by that staff weapon. The best I can do is keep him in a coma and hope for the best."

Sam looked down on the Colonel from her seat beside his bed. He looked so lifeless. "Are you sure there isn't anything you can do?" Her voice was very quiet. The thought that she may never hear his voice again was something that scared her more than a fleet of Goa'uld motherships. She didn't want to think about how it might feel to lose him. Especially before she got a chance to… No. She couldn't think like that. Quickly she banished the thought from her mind and grasped his limp hand. She stroked the back of it with her thumb, not entirely sure what this would accomplish, but somehow she felt it was necessary.

"I'm sorry Sam." Whispered Janet.

"Unscheduled off world activation!" General Hammond's announcement broke the heavy silence in the infirmary as Sam and Daniel headed to the gateroom.

"Walter what the hell do you think you're doing? I didn't tell you to open the iris!" General Hammond barked as the conscious members of SG-1 joined them in the control room.

"I didn't sir, it's opening by itself."

Everyone waited with baited breath to see what would come through. The defense team was ready with their weapons loaded and all pointed at the shimmering blue surface of the gate. Would it be a group of Jaffa coming to finish what they had started earlier? Maybe it was an estranged Tok'ra looking for a safe place to stay?

When someone finally did come through, no one moved and the being blinked several times. She had two arms, two legs and everything else a person should be expected to have, but she was most certainly not human.

-----

R'aine stepped out of the wormhole with such grace and poise it almost seemed as if she were floating mere inches above the ground. Before her was a strange room filled with people. Hundreds of eyes were fixed on her. She was different than they were. Her skin was fair and flawless and she had two pointy ears sticking out from the thick mane of glossy purple hair that covered her head. Behind long black eyelashes one of her eyes was blue, while the other was red. She sighed and thought to herself. _They must be stunned by my surreal, exotic beauty. _Ever since she was a child, she had always considered it more of a curse than anything else.

-----

All Sam could do was stare with her mouth half open. It wasn't so much the purple hair and elf ears that bothered her, she had seen stranger things through her years in the Stargate Program, it was that _dress_! That little… pixie… whatever she was, was sporting a tiny pink tinker bell dress and a pair of less than tasteful pink boots to match. She looked like a character that could only possibly exist in the imagination of a five year old girl! A sad smile crossed her face. _ The Colonel would have loved to see this._

"I come peacefully!" called the alien with a clear airy voice. "I am called R'aine."

General Hammond collected himself and spoke to her through the speaker. "Where did you-"

"That does not matter; I am an explorer and a healer. I have come to learn of your world."

The room was still once again. "Um General, maybe we should get her to the infirmary." Daniel said. When Hammond said nothing he tried again. "If she's telling the truth, she can help Jack, and if she's crazy… well then… the infirmary seems like just the place for her."

Several people in the control room smirked. Daniel had said what everyone else was thinking. Either this girl had lost her mind and thought she was a magical elf, or she was a blessing in pink. Right now however, it seemed that Stargate Command had picked up a real head case.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Here's Chapter two! Enjoy and remember that reviews are much loved and appreciated. Cookies for all chapter one's reviewers!

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Stargate Command's new guest entered the infirmary timidly, accompanied by Sam, Daniel, Teal'c and General Hammond. Doctor Fraiser nearly dropped her clipboard when she caught her first glimpse of her.

"Hi Janet. This is our new… friend… R'aine." Daniel said, giving Janet some time to recover. R'aine batted her eyelashes at him.

Janet flashed him a grateful smile, put down her clipboard and turned her attention to the strange little purple-haired alien standing before her. "Where did she come from? And where are her parents?" She couldn't possibly have been more than seventeen years old. 'R'aine' as she was called, was a sight to behold indeed.

R'aine gave her a strange look. "The woman who raised me died many years ago."

"I'm sorry, I…"

She held up a hand and shook her head. "I am three hundred and eight years old, and-" She stopped speaking and eyed Jack, still lying on his bed. "You have wounded!"

Before anyone had a chance to react, R'aine had stridden over to his bedside and in an extremely dramatic fashion, placed an ivory hand on Jack's pale cheek. She smiled at him and said something in a strange language. Everyone looked at Daniel questioningly but he simply shrugged. He had no idea. The various occupants of the room eyed each other suspiciously. Even Teal'c seemed to look a little skeptical until a soft blue light began to emanate from the place where R'aine and Jack touched.

Janet dashed over and practically threw R'aine across the room. Jack was beginning to stir. She gasped and turned to the one who had saved Jack O'Neill's life, unable to find words for the current situation.

Jack was awake in an instant. "What the hell was that?" He sat up and nearly jumped out of his bed. "Whoa!" He had obviously seen R'aine. "What the hell is _that_?"

"Well sir, _that_ just saved your life." Sam said. R'aine looked a little hurt by Jack's little outburst, however correct Sam thought he was.

"Oh…. Thank you?"

Doctor Fraiser, who had finally found her voice cleared her throat and addressed the General. "Sir, Colonel O'Neill appears to be in perfect health. With your permission I would like to run a few tests on our little miracle worker."

"Well Doctor, I think that's up to her."

Janet looked at R'aine eagerly and she nodded her consent. "Of course you may. I take immense joy in helping friends in need." The smile that came across Janet's face was so enormous that one could swear it would crack.

"Why don't we move this into the briefing room?" Hammond suggested. "Doctor Fraiser, if you find anything interesting meet us there and bring her with you. Understood?"

With a positively gleeful "yes sir" the Doctor took R'aine by the hand and led her to one of the beds. Teal'c helped Jack up and they along with Sam, Daniel and General Hammond headed to the briefing room.

-----

"So you're telling me that this strange little elf girl came through the gate and saved my life?"

"Actually O'Neill, it appears that R'aine is over three hundred years old." Said Teal'c in his usual stoic manner.

"Ah."

"Is it just me or is there something not quite right about her?" asked Daniel.

Sam smiled. "Actually Daniel I think the problem is that there's _nothing_ wrong with her at all. It's unnerving."

Everyone was snickering when an extremely out of breath Janet burst into the room dragging R'aine behind her.

"She's unlike anything I've ever seen! Her blood is made up of some kind of substance that none of us know anything about, and her brain capacity is exponentially-"

"Put it in your report, Doctor." General Hammond cut her off, knowing full well that it would be much clearer (and quieter for that matter) in writing. Doctor Fraiser nodded. "In the meantime, sit down both of you."

They both obliged. Janet took a seat next to Teal'c and R'aine sat next to Daniel. Actually she had scooted her chair rather close to Daniel's. Jack gave him a mock smile and wiggled his eyebrows.

"So R'aine, are there others like you?" Daniel asked, squirming a little in his seat. Clearly he was extremely uncomfortable, and Jack knew that everyone in the briefing room was doing all they could not to holler with laughter.

Rain's eyes sank a little bit and she took a deep breath. "I do not remember much of my home world."

"Why not?"

"When I was very young, I mercilessly abducted against my will by a strange being. I was taken to a lab where they performed painful experiments on me. Day in, day out all I knew was agony and suffering." R'aine's eyes filled up with tears and she paused. Daniel took this as an opportunity to shuffle his chair away from hers. "When they were through with me, I was cast into the wilderness as if I was an old piece of trash. Unwanted and unloved."

R'aine went on… and on… and on about how a nice old lady found her and raised her as her own. Everyone else exchanged shrugs and glances. Every time it appeared she was through, she began telling them about another tragedy she had overcome or accomplishment she had made at some point in her three hundred and eight year life. Sam was staring off into space, probably thinking about some new doohickey that was sitting in her lab. Daniel was edging his chair further and further away, Janet had begun to write her report, General Hammond was just looking pissed off, and Jack was battling a throbbing headache.

"And _that_ is when I decided to travel the universe doing good for all."

"Okay! I think that's enough for now. My head is killing me." Jack stood up and a wave of dizziness washed over him. He put his hands on the table for support. "General? Can we break for lunch? _Please_?_"_

"I am in agreement with Colonel O'Neill General Hammond. I am I need of a rest also." Agreed Teal'c.

"Allright, we will continue this at 1500 hours. Dismissed."

Daniel was up and out of the room before R'aine had a chance to follow.

"Sir, I have some painkillers in my lab." Sam said.

Jack smiled, but winced as his head pounded again. "Thank god for you, Carter." He steadied himself and strode over to the door, holding it open for her. "Come on. I can hear those pills calling my name."

-----

"Here they are." Sam said as she triumphantly pulled the tiny bottle from a particularly messy drawer. She turned and handed it to the Colonel. "Sir I'm so glad you're all right. For a while it looked like we had lost you."

He gave her a lopsided grin and popped two of the pills. "It's gonna take a bit more than that to get rid of me, Carter."

He opened his arms for a hug and she gladly accepted. She walked towards him, wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder. He was so warm, not cold like he had been when he was lying unconscious in the infirmary.

Suddenly he went limp and heavy in her arms. "Sir?" She pulled away and he fell to the floor unconscious once again. Sam raced to the phone and tore it off its cradle. "Get me a med team in here right now!"


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Okay guys! This is the last chapter. tear Sorry about the time it took to update, I got busy and distracted. Stupid real life getting in the way. Anyway I'm thinking of writing a sequel, what do you all think? Feedback is much loved, appreciated and wanted. Virtual cookies for all the reviewers!

Onward!

* * *

For the second time that day, Jack O'Neill had been wheeled off to the infirmary on a stretcher. For the second time that day, Jack O'Neill was lying unconscious in the infirmary, but this time, no one quite knew what was wrong.

Sam, Daniel, Teal'c General Hammond and R'aine had assembled in the infirmary at Doctor Fraiser's request. "The only thing that I can tell you is that I've found some traces of the substance in R'aine's blood in the Colonel's." She paused and shook her head. "That's the only thing that could possibly explain what happened. Other than that, he's in perfect health."

R'aine's face fell. "I always knew that this day would come, but I never thought it would be like this." She let out a very long and exasperated sigh and looked down at the floor. Sam grasped her firmly by the forearms.

"What's going to happen to him?"

R'aine looked a little frightened and backed towards Daniel, who made a quick break for Jack's bed to 'check up on him.'

After a long moment, she hung her head, letting her glossy purple hair cascade down over her face. When she spoke it was an unsteady and dreadfully quiet voice. "He will die, or I will die."

Sam's expression was somewhere in between rage and sorrow. She didn't know how she was supposed to react. In order for Jack to live, someone else had to die. Daniel came over from his hiding spot and placed a sympathetic hand on her shoulder, which she covered with her own.

R'aine must have read Sam's expression perfectly, because she smiled. "Do not fear Samantha, my time has long since come. I will sacrifice myself so that your Jack may be given a chance to live." It seemed to calm her. R'aine turned her head to Daniel, and gave him a very long, sad look.

"You will do no such thing!" General Hammond broke the silence in the room, prompting an extremely grateful look from Daniel.

Turning to the balding general, R'aine glided over. She said nothing, only placed her hand in his, looked into his eyes with her own multicolored ones, and shook her head. He knew that he could order every SF on this base try and stop her, but there was really nothing anyone could do. General Hammond looked defeated. He nodded slowly and did not argue.

Janet on the other hand was absolutely livid. She had here, two people who could both potentially die and there was absolutely nothing she could do about it. In fact, she didn't even understand what was wrong with them. That little alien had both Jack's life and her own in her hands, and now, she was going to have to watch at least one of them die. She took deep breaths, trying to tell herself that it was okay, but it just didn't sit right.

General Hammond, Janet, Sam and Teal'c all received hugs and comforting words from R'aine. As he watched, Daniel was dreading his turn. When R'aine finally got to him, he squirmed slightly.

* * *

"I will miss you the most," she paused. "Daniel." She kissed him on the cheek and pulled him into a hug. Daniel tried his best not to cringe. He patted her on the back awkwardly until she pulled away and smiled at him.

Daniel forced a smile. _Oh god, Jack would have loved to see this. _"Thank you for everything. R'aine."

R'aine gave one final, sad smile to the entire group. A pale blue light began to emanate from her. It started at her feet and crept up until it had completely engulfed her body. Then, it disappeared and R'aine wavered slightly. Instinctively, Daniel caught her before she collapsed.

The room was deadly silent. General Hammond was looking at the floor, Sam was near tears, Teal'c was, not surprisingly, expressionless as usual and Janet was livid once again. She was obviously still having a hard time with the thought of standing by and watching someone die. And then there was R'aine, dying in Daniel's arms. He couldn't help but feel some remorse for the poor girl. All she wanted to do was help, and it was going to cost her her own life.

With what was obviously every ounce of her strength, the dying girl reached up and touched Daniel's arm. "My beloved." She whispered. Her voice was almost inaudible.

Daniel decided to go along with it for just a little while. She was dying; it was the right thing to do. He tried to look as sincere as he could under the circumstances. "I'm here." Was all he could muster at that point.

"You will have your Jack soon."

"Shhh. I know R'aine, I know." Daniel brushed some purple hair from her ivory face.

The moment before the mysterious alien girl died, she looked perfectly happy. It surprised Daniel a little bit, actually. It almost seemed as if she weren't even going to die at all. Mind you, he had no idea what kind of afterlife these… people… had, so maybe she was going to a better place after all.

Her multicolored eyes finally fluttered shut, and she went limp on Daniel's lap. Nobody seemed to know what to say, so every person in the infirmary stood perfectly still and completely silent.

"Sam?" someone muttered. "What happened?" Jack sat bolt upright in his bed, he hadn't looked this lost since the last time Sam had tried to explain to him the basics of quantum mechanics. But he had woken up. "What the hell is going on?"

"Sir!" Sam rushed over to his side and began to recount the events of the last hour or so while he had been asleep.

Daniel summoned the will to stand up, bringing R'aine's body up with him. On the floor underneath her was a marking. It was in the shape of a teardrop. _Or more appropriately, a raindrop. _Daniel mused.

"Daniel Jackson, it appears that R'aine has left a gift for us." Teal'c said, nodding at the floor. "And it appears that she has left you one as well."

Daniel looked down at his arm. On the place where R'aine had touched him was a raindrop shaped mark.

* * *

Sam had finished retelling the day's events to the colonel, and waited for his reply. She hoped he understood that there was nothing anyone could have done to convince R'aine not to sacrifice herself for him.

"Wow."

She nodded. It had been a very long, very dramatic day and her eyes were filling up with tears. "I'm glad you're back, sir."

He smiled. She liked it when he smiled. "Now, Carter, I believe I owe you a hug."

Sam smiled. Perhaps a little too widely, but that didn't matter right now. "Promise not to pass out this time?"

"Promise."


End file.
